rissymonster | This is NPR, National Public Radio

After ten plus years with Mr. B (unapologetically awful and relentless punster that he is), I've developed (or perhaps just honed) some formidable pun/wordplay defense. As in, puns often don't sink into my thick, thick skull. For hours, or even days.

My defenses are not impenetrable, and so I do eventually wind up holding my head in pain when I finally get it. And I've even on occasion been able to make B cringe, only because I've thought up puns so badass/stupid he's jealous he didn't think of them himself.

However, sometimes I really out-do myself. This weekend, as I was attempting to get B out of bed (sadly, we had to go somewhere), we somehow got into singsonging various acronyms at each other. "BBQ" "OMGWTF"

Me: "QED ... Hey, do you think that KQED (the local NPR station) chose the QED part on purpose?"
B: [closes eyes in disbelief] "Yes, [rissymonster.]"
Me: "Oh, that should have been obvious, huh?"

I've somehow managed to live in the Bay Area for the last six years without getting that. Go me.

However, my absolute supreme accomplishment in the art of defense-against-wordplay ended in sudden comprehension sometime this past April. Sitting next to B on the couch, and reading something or other, when Was (Not Was)'s "I Feel Better than James Brown" came around on the guitar. This has probably been in our song collection as long as we've been together, and since we've both rated it as 9 out of 10, it gets a decent amount of play on shukebox, our home music system.

So I've probably spent hours in the last ten years listening to this song, and loving the lyrics (Can you beat "I was attending Mardi Gras with Fidel Castro/Bucksome cross dressers threw fake gold coins at our feet/As we discussed the fate of the revolution/Suddenly, CIA men dressed in bikinis/Tried to stab us with fountain pens?")

"I feel better now/I feel better than James Brown" And lo, I finally got it.

"Oh right, because James Brown feels good!" I am so proud of myself. B, so appalled. It is awesome. I fear myself.